My name is Catherine, and I am a rehabilitating compulsive addicted gambler. Though it has been several years since I was began the process of quitting gambling, I can vividly remember the travails I encountered throughout addiction period.
Gambling addiction took away my life without killing me, it took away my family, friends, occupation, my house, and almost ruined my love life with my husband. It cost me more than what money can buy. Also, I wasn't aware I had psychological and psychiatric problems until some years later.
I came from the depths of hell, despondency, and hopelessness.
My Initially Fizzled Suicide Endeavour
One morning, I found myself in a hospital with both wrists of mine shrouded in bandages while before losing consciousness I overheard a discussion about my suicide attempt and how so many sharp objects were found in the sitting room of my residence. All I recall was everything returning to being dark in void. Now I understand that it was a complete mental and physical breakdown. A total system failure. From there I moved to a dependence/mental crisis base.
I was on suicide watch the initial few days. After a short while, psychiatrist began functioning with me. And as a matter of fact, I was as well a determined gambler too. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I tried quitting gambling without external help, but it was futile instead I had delved more into it; worse still, I even gambled when in rehab. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Indeed, even following a 20 day remain in an emergency focus and suicide endeavour!
What Has Happened To Me?
it's known as DEPENDENCE It is an ailment that is really difficult to get over. But possible. What's more, this wasn't my last time I would work this circuit.
Not because the compulsive gambling, I committed suicide again in 2006 for being unable to cope with the pressure of financial issues. It felt like I haven't completely recover my life including my financial condition.
First lesson: Have a stable recovery plans. In 2006 I thought I could have a normal life without pills and treatment for my mental illness. In this way, I quit taking them supposing it was recently the betting that was bringing on my dysfunctional behaviour issues of PTSD, hyper discouragement, mellow madness uneasiness and bipolar a sleeping disorder cycles and OCD. All in all, inside two weeks of no meds? I had returned to serious misery and self-destructive. My response? I consumed all my meds at ago. I had reached to that bad, black hole of gloom once again.
Back in the healthcare facility, another 16-day crisis base stay and days of self-destructive observation.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Along with the bitter moments in recovery, when they remind me to have faith, I took some life lessons out of it. We can't improve without imbibing many of the lessons we acquire in life. Issues outside your addiction problem can still surface and having that prepped up mentality would be essential.
Where Can I Be Heading With This Section Of My Narrative?
A lot of destinations
First, the characters and traits that we study and lift up within any dependence and "the cycle" of any dependence requires to be disrupted and removed for us to have an opportunity at an actual honest recuperation. Balance is very important in your recovery pathway also. Acknowledge the necessary skills and tools in the therapy to treat your addiction, don't give any space in you for making excuses, refusal, and others.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. It is as necessary to agree as Step one, complete surrender.
Next, is having a setup which halts the regression of the whole remedial process and it is essential for any individual who desires a permanent positive outcome. We all are aware that life events happen. Not just the bad and bitter moments, there are also beautiful and sweet ones.
I think that is the reason behind the question asked by Gamblers Anonymous in our book called "The 20 Questions" to detect whether you have a gambling problem. One of the questions in some of those websites is "Have you gambled at any point in time to commemorate a measure of success you attained?" YES! For me, even when good things occurred, I would want to observe a notable occasion by going purportedly to catch some "fun" by betting. Nevertheless, my dependence was so terrible I required anything I could get hold of to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. GA told me that it is crucial for me to be right by other addicts' side during their recovery, because they need us just like when I needed others' supports.
We have to begin a discussion about this still quiet, quiet habit. Let's destroy the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to pull down the "stigma" around it, and around those who live dual diagnosed also. Truly, managing a psychological trauma while striving to attain a state of physical well-being is exacting; however outlining my travails, makes it clear that attaining a state of physical and mental well-being is feasible and every individual struggling with a rehab can have a life of laughter and happiness even during the rehabilitation period.